I’ve spent years exploring the intricate web of human emotions, behaviours, and mental well-being. As a therapist, I’ve worked with people who have silently endured the crushing weight of toxic environments - whether in relationships, workplaces, or even their own homes. But here’s the thing: toxicity isn’t always obvious. It’s not always about dramatic fights, blatant mistreatment, or outright abuse. Sometimes, it’s the slow erosion of self-worth, the unrelenting stress that becomes your normal, the subtle yet insidious feeling that something just isn’t right.

Toxic environments can have a devastating impact on mental health, and if left unchecked, they can seep into every aspect of life, your confidence, your motivation, your relationships, and even your physical health. The hardest part is recognising when you’re in one.

What Does a Toxic Environment Feel Like?

It starts subtly. You tell yourself, “Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m overreacting”. But over time, you notice that you’re constantly drained, on edge, or second-guessing yourself. Here are some tell-tale signs that your environment may be harming your psychological well-being:

• Chronic stress and anxiety – You wake up dreading the day. Your body is tense, your mind races, and there’s a gnawing sense of unease that you can’t shake.

• Feeling undervalued or disrespected – Whether it’s a boss who belittles you, a partner who constantly criticises you, or a social circle that disregards your feelings, the underlying message is the same: You’re not enough.

• Walking on eggshells – If you’re always cautious about what you say, afraid of triggering someone's outburst or criticism, it’s a clear sign of emotional toxicity.

• Unfair treatment and double standards – When the rules apply to you but not to others, when you’re constantly overlooked or made to feel insignificant, resentment and self-doubt begin to take root.

• A pervasive sense of guilt or obligation – In toxic environments, manipulation is often at play. You feel guilty for saying no, for prioritising yourself, or even for wanting to leave.

• Mental and physical exhaustion – You’re not just tired; you’re drained. Toxic environments deplete you, making even small tasks feel overwhelming.

• Lack of personal growth or progress – If you feel stuck, stagnant, or like you’re losing yourself in the process, your environment might be to blame.

The Workplace: When Your Job is Hurting Your Mental Health

Many of us spend the majority of our waking hours at work. So, when that environment is toxic, the effects can be profound. But how do you know if your workplace is harming your mental well-being?

Signs of a Toxic Workplace:

1. A Culture of Fear – If you’re afraid to speak up, make a mistake, or ask for help, the environment is not psychologically safe.
2. Micromanagement and Lack of Autonomy – When every move is scrutinised and your decisions are constantly overridden, it breeds frustration and self-doubt.
3. Unclear or Unrealistic Expectations – Being expected to meet impossible deadlines, handle excessive workloads, or constantly prove your worth can lead to burnout.
4. Workplace Bullying or Cliques – Gossip, exclusion, favouritism, or direct bullying can create an atmosphere of hostility and stress.
5. No Work-Life Balance – If your job demands everything from you, leaving no space for rest, relationships, or self-care, it’s time to reassess.
6. Feeling Invisible or Replaceable – When you feel unappreciated, undervalued, or like your contributions don’t matter, motivation and job satisfaction plummet.

The Impact on Mental Health:

A toxic workplace doesn’t just make you dislike your job; it can lead to anxiety, depression, burnout, and even physical symptoms like headaches, digestive issues, and chronic fatigue. It can make you doubt your skills, your worth, and your future.

Toxic Relationships: The Invisible Chains

While toxic workplaces can be draining, toxic personal relationships can be downright soul-crushing. These relationships slowly chip away at your confidence, happiness, and sense of self-worth. What makes them particularly dangerous is that they don’t always start as toxic. Often, they begin with love, care, or companionship, making it all the more difficult to recognise when something has shifted.

Toxic relationships come in many forms. They can be romantic, familial, or even friendships. Sometimes, they involve blatant abuse, but other times, they are built on subtle yet persistent patterns of emotional manipulation, criticism, and control. Because of this, many people stay, convincing themselves that they are overreacting, misinterpreting things, or that things will eventually improve.

But the truth is, toxicity doesn’t always announce itself loudly. It seeps in gradually, making you question your own reality, convincing you that you need to try harder, do better, or be someone else entirely just to maintain the relationship. And that is when it becomes dangerous - when you start losing yourself in the process of trying to keep the peace.

Red Flags in a Toxic Relationship

Recognising the warning signs is key to understanding whether a relationship is harming your well-being. Here are some common indicators:

1. Emotional Manipulation

Emotional manipulation is a silent predator. It’s the guilt-tripping, the gaslighting, the subtle tactics that make you doubt yourself. A toxic partner, friend, or family member might say things like:

• “After everything I’ve done for you, this is how you treat me?”
• “You’re too sensitive, it was just a joke.”
• “You always overreact. No one else would put up with you.”

Gaslighting is one of the most insidious forms of emotional manipulation. It’s when someone makes you question your own memories, feelings, or reality. You might bring up a hurtful comment they made, only for them to say, “I never said that” or “You must be imagining things.” Over time, you begin to doubt your own perception, making it easier for them to control the narrative.

2. Constant Negativity

A key hallmark of a toxic relationship is that instead of feeling supported, loved, or empowered, you feel drained and defeated. If every interaction leaves you feeling worse rather than better, that’s a major red flag.

• Do they constantly criticise you, even in small ways? ("You can’t do anything right.")
• Do they make you feel guilty for your achievements? ("Must be nice to have your life so easy.")
• Do they downplay your struggles and emotions? ("You think that’s bad? Let me tell you what real problems are.")

Healthy relationships are about mutual support. If you feel like someone only brings negativity into your life, whether through constant criticism, passive-aggressive comments, or outright belittling - it’s a sign that the relationship is harming rather than helping you.

3. Lack of Respect for Boundaries

Boundaries are crucial in any relationship, yet toxic people often disregard them.

• Do they dismiss your need for space or privacy?
• Do they make decisions for you without considering your feelings?
• Do they insist on being involved in every aspect of your life, even when you set limits?

A toxic partner might demand access to your phone, a friend might constantly invade your personal space, or a family member might refuse to respect your independence. Healthy relationships acknowledge and honour boundaries; toxic ones ignore them.

4. Emotional or Verbal Abuse

Not all abuse is physical. Words can cut just as deeply. Toxic individuals may yell, belittle, or insult you under the guise of “tough love” or “just being honest.”

• “You’re useless.”
• “No one else would ever want you.”
• “You’re so lucky I put up with you.”

Over time, this type of behaviour can erode self-esteem, making it harder to recognise your own worth. You might even start believing these statements, internalising them as truth.

5. Feeling Emotionally Drained

One of the most telling signs of a toxic relationship is how you feel after spending time with the person.

• Do you feel lighter, happier, and energised?
• Or do you feel drained, anxious, or emotionally exhausted?

Healthy relationships, even with their ups and downs, ultimately uplift you. Toxic relationships leave you feeling like you’re constantly walking through emotional quicksand. Instead of being a source of support, the relationship becomes a source of stress.

Why It’s So Hard to Leave a Toxic Relationship

If toxic relationships are so damaging, why do people stay? The answer is complex.

• Hope for Change – You remember the good times. The person wasn’t always like this, so you hold on to hope that they’ll go back to being the person they once were.

• Emotional Investment – You’ve poured time, energy, and love into this relationship. Walking away feels like throwing all of that away.

• Manipulation and Guilt – Toxic people are masters at making you feel responsible for their happiness. They convince you that leaving would make you the bad person.

• Fear of Loneliness – You worry that if you leave, you’ll be alone. Toxic people often isolate their victims, making them feel like they have no one else to turn to.

• Low Self-Worth – After constant criticism and emotional exhaustion, you start believing that you don’t deserve better.

Breaking free from a toxic relationship isn’t just about leaving physically, it’s about unlearning the mental and emotional patterns that kept you stuck.

You Deserve Peace

A toxic relationship can feel like a prison, but you hold the key. You are not responsible for fixing someone who refuses to change. You are not obligated to shrink yourself to fit into someone else’s world. And you are not alone in this.

The most powerful thing you can do is - choose yourself.

If any of this resonates with you, take a moment to reflect: Am I in a relationship that nurtures me or drains me? Am I being loved in a way that feels safe and healthy?

Change isn’t easy, but your peace of mind, happiness, and well-being are always worth it. 

How to Break Free from Toxic Environments

The first step in reclaiming your mental well-being is recognising that you deserve better. Here’s how you can start to take back control:

1. Acknowledge the Problem

Denial keeps us stuck. Accepting that an environment is toxic is the first step toward change. Ask yourself:

• Am I constantly anxious or drained because of this?
• Do I feel respected and valued here?
• Is this situation harming my mental health?

2. Set Clear Boundaries

Boundaries are essential in protecting your well-being. Whether it’s at work or in relationships, start saying no to what doesn’t serve you.

• Reduce interactions with toxic people.
• Limit your emotional investment in draining situations.
• Set clear work-life boundaries - no answering emails after hours!

3. Seek Support

You don’t have to navigate this alone. Talk to a therapist, trusted friend, or mentor. External perspectives can help validate your experience and provide guidance.

4. Prioritise Self-Care

Self-care isn’t just bubble baths and Netflix. It’s about making choices that nourish you mentally, emotionally, and physically.

• Get enough sleep.
• Eat nourishing foods.
• Move your body.
• Engage in activities that bring you joy.

5. Plan Your Exit

If your environment is beyond repair, start planning your way out.

• If it’s a toxic job, update your CV, explore other opportunities, and network.
• If it’s a relationship, seek emotional support and resources to leave safely.
• If it’s a toxic family situation, create distance and prioritise your emotional health.

Leaving a toxic environment isn’t always easy. It takes courage, planning, and self-belief. But trust me, nothing is more liberating than reclaiming your peace.

Final Thoughts

I know how easy it is to normalise toxicity, to convince yourself that this is just how things are. But life isn’t meant to be lived in survival mode. You deserve environments that uplift you, people who respect and support you, and a life where you feel safe, valued, and at peace.

If this article resonates with you, I encourage you to reflect: “What toxic environments am I allowing in my life? And what can I do to change that?”