The Lasting Effects of Unhealed Wounds & How to Heal

For a long time, I believed that trauma was something that would naturally fade with time. I thought that if I ignored it, buried it deep enough, or simply moved on with my life, it would lose its power. But I soon realised that this wasn’t the case. Instead of diminishing, my trauma seemed to resurface in unexpected ways, often feeling even more intense than when I first experienced it.

I started asking myself: Why does this happen? Why does my trauma sometimes feel stronger rather than weaker as the years go by? The answer, I found, lies in the way our minds and bodies store and process traumatic experiences. Trauma is not just a memory, it is an experience deeply embedded in the nervous system, shaping thoughts, emotions, and behaviours long after the event itself has passed.

I will explore why trauma can feel more overwhelming over time, looking at memory retention, emotional suppression, and life triggers. I will also share strategies that have helped me, and others, navigate healing so that trauma doesn’t continue to gain power over time.

The Nature of Trauma: Why It Persists

Trauma as an Experience, Not Just a Memory

One of the biggest realisations I had was that trauma is not stored in my mind the way everyday memories are. Instead of being a past event I could recall with detachment, my trauma was something I could still feel in my body and emotions. Certain sounds, smells, or situations could suddenly transport me back, as if I was reliving it all over again.

This happens because trauma is primarily processed by the limbic system, particularly the amygdala, the brain’s alarm centre. When I experienced trauma, my body automatically went into survival mode, activating fight, flight, freeze, or fawn responses. Meanwhile, the hippocampus, which normally helps organise memories, was overwhelmed. As a result, my brain didn’t store the trauma as a typical memory with a beginning, middle, and end. Instead, it became a fragmented, emotionally charged experience that my nervous system treated as an ongoing threat rather than something that had passed.

How Suppression Makes Trauma Stronger

For years, I avoided thinking about my trauma. I convinced myself that it was in the past and didn’t matter anymore. But I noticed certain patterns emerging - anxiety, sudden emotional outbursts, chronic exhaustion, and difficulties in relationships. It took me a long time to realise that avoiding my trauma wasn’t making it go away; it was making it stronger.

Trauma doesn’t simply vanish when ignored. Instead, it lingers beneath the surface, waiting for a moment to resurface. The more I suppressed my emotions, the more they accumulated. Eventually, they would explode in ways I didn’t always understand, whether in feelings of panic, anger, or sadness that seemed out of proportion to the situation at hand.

Why Trauma Feels More Intense Over Time

1. Repeating Neural Pathways Strengthens Trauma Responses

The brain is designed to reinforce experiences it perceives as important. Every time my trauma was triggered, my brain reactivated the same neural pathways associated with the distressing event. Over time, these pathways became stronger, making the trauma feel even more overwhelming.

This process is known as trauma reactivation. It happens when something—perhaps a familiar smell, a similar situation, or even a seemingly unrelated stressor—triggers the brain into reliving the past. Because trauma isn’t stored in the same way as ordinary memories, these triggers don’t just remind me of what happened; they make me feel as if I am experiencing it again.

2. Gaining New Perspectives on Old Wounds

As I grew older, I began to see my past through a different lens. Experiences that once seemed normal or insignificant suddenly took on new meaning. I started recognising how past traumas had shaped my self-esteem, relationships, and the way I responded to stress.

For example, I hadn’t thought much about certain childhood experiences until I became an adult and realised how deeply they had impacted my ability to trust others. When I became a parent, I found myself unexpectedly overwhelmed with emotions about my own upbringing. These new perspectives intensified the emotions surrounding my past, making my trauma feel more powerful than it had at the time.

3. The Cumulative Effect of Stress and Additional Trauma

Trauma does not exist in isolation. As life continues, new challenges emerge—workplace stress, breakups, financial difficulties, or the loss of loved ones. Each of these stressors can pile on top of old trauma, amplifying its impact.

I have noticed that when I am already under stress, old wounds become harder to ignore. This is particularly true for those who experience Complex PTSD (C-PTSD), where multiple traumas layer over time, making emotional regulation more difficult.

4. Triggers and Sensory Associations Keep Trauma Active

One of the most frustrating things about trauma is how it can be tied to sensory experiences. I have had moments where a particular song, a scent, or even the tone of someone’s voice could bring up feelings of fear or sadness without warning.

This happens because trauma is stored in the body, not just in the mind. When my nervous system recognises something associated with my past trauma, it responds as though the original threat is still present. These triggers can make past traumas feel just as intense—if not more so—than when they originally occurred.

5. Emotional Memory Deepens Over Time

Emotions are not static; they evolve as I gain more life experience. Trauma, in particular, can take on deeper significance over time. I have come to understand certain traumatic events differently as I’ve grown, and this awareness has sometimes intensified my emotional response to them.

For example, being bullied as a child may not have felt that devastating at the time, but as I grew older, I saw how it had shaped my confidence and relationships. With that new understanding, the emotions surrounding that trauma became stronger.

How I Learned to Prevent Trauma from Gaining Power Over Time

1. Acknowledging and Validating My Trauma

One of the biggest shifts in my healing journey came when I stopped minimising my experiences. For years, I told myself, It wasn’t that bad or Other people have been through worse. But invalidating my trauma only made it fester. When I finally acknowledged its impact, I was able to start working through it.

2. Seeking Therapeutic Support

Therapy has been instrumental in helping me understand and process my trauma. Approaches like Internal Family Systems (IFS), Psychosynthesis, and EMDR have helped me integrate my past experiences in a way that makes them feel less overwhelming. Therapy has allowed me to:

• Recognise my triggers
• Reprocess traumatic memories in a safe environment
• Develop coping mechanisms that actually work

However, one of the biggest challenges I faced was asking for help in the first place. I started with self-help book and Youtube videos, but that only addressed surface level problems. The truth is that I didn’t want to go to the scary places of my past. Not on my own anyway.

3. Developing Emotional Regulation Skills

Because trauma is stored in the body, I have found that physical and emotional regulation techniques make a huge difference. Some things that have helped me include:

• Mindfulness and meditation to keep me grounded
• Breathing techniques to calm my nervous system
• Somatic therapy to release trauma stored in my body
• Journalling to process my emotions and track my healing

I think it is fair to say that there isn’t one therapy that helps, but a combination of several as I have listed above. I use all of them as a form of daily discipline and I have learned to prioritise looking after myself.

4. Reframing My Story

Trauma often creates rigid beliefs like I am not safe or I am broken. Through Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and self-reflection, I have learned to challenge these thoughts and create a more empowering narrative for myself.

5. Addressing Trauma Gradually

I used to think healing meant confronting my most painful memories head-on, but I have learned that healing happens in layers. Taking small, manageable steps has helped me work through my trauma without becoming overwhelmed.

Trauma Doesn’t Just Disappear—It Transforms

When I first started to understand trauma, I assumed that with enough time, it would fade away, much like a distant memory. However, I have learned that trauma doesn’t simply dissolve, it changes shape. It shifts, adapts, and integrates into different areas of life, sometimes subtly, sometimes powerfully. If left unprocessed, trauma has the potential to become even more ingrained, taking on new forms that impact emotions, behaviours, and even physical health in ways I didn’t initially recognise.

Instead of fading, unprocessed trauma tends to evolve. Sometimes it manifests as emotional reactivity, unexpected outbursts of anger, deep sadness, or feelings of shame that seem to arise out of nowhere. Other times, it takes on a more insidious form, shaping self-perception, limiting beliefs, and creating patterns of avoidance or self-sabotage.

I have come to realise that trauma doesn’t just stay trapped in the past. It integrates into the present, influencing the way I navigate relationships, respond to stress, and even perceive myself. The transformation of trauma isn’t inherently negative, it is the mind’s way of trying to protect itself. However, when trauma is left unresolved, these protective mechanisms can begin to work against me rather than for me.